PHOENIX, AZ – Following an intense laser tag date, John Miller got his first handjob. Sadly the handjob only resulted in blisters on his dick. Though his 16 year old girlfriend claimed to be a “master” John did not realize that he needed to bring lotion to maximize his experience in the back of his 2003 light green Prius. John texted his best friend Joe after the date saying:

“The only reason I decided to date Janet was because she claimed to be a master at handjobs. Apparently this bitch just assumed I would bring lotion… If she was hotter it would be worth this shit, but she is only a 4 so fuck this”